No reading in the library | MetaFilter

Ran across a funny piece over at Metafilter. Do any of your library's policies make your patrons feel like this poor student did?

No reading in the library. | MetaFilter:

Rules For the Library - Satirical relief for those who suffer or have suffered under an oppressive, Orwellian library atmosphere:

1) There will be absolutely no reading of any kind in the library.
This means no books, newspapers, or magazines are to be read while in the library. There has been much confusion concerning this first rule, it seems that many students think they can walk into the library and quietly read but this is simply not the case. The books newspapers and magazines found in the library are not for actually use, but are there to set the library atmosphere. Students may not bring pieces of outside literature into the library. If found, these pieces of “art” will be burned at a weekly book burning.

Also, if you want more library humor try this IFLA link.

When a teacher recommends a library book to a student, you can be certain that the teacher has checked out the only copy and has lent it to a friend in Peru.

Students always require a 400 word article for a 500 word essay.

Change libraries frequently. It allows you to place the blame on your predecessor for anything that is wrong.